another moral hangover. fuck.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
