you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
