And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
