dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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