I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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