Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
