I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
