Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize