I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
