We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
