ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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