they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize