just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
