so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize