Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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