So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize