Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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