I want to make a zoo with you.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
