I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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