Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
