birth control should be required to get into college
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
