now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
