Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
