if i can run in heels then i can drive
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
