just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
