Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
