I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Dicks are not precious.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
