somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
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