Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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