I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize