I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
