ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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