it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Randomize
