with your own penis?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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