its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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