my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
and she was petting her beer can
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
