Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I need to sanitize my soul.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
