THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
