Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
i believe in u and ur pee
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
