Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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