He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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