He had one of those small greek statue penises
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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