so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
