he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We left the knife in your bed.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
