I'm passing your future prison.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
