I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
