Having a random hookup so left but love u
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
