sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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