Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
