Betty ford says i'm here all night
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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