That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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