chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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