Buhtt sex?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
