SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
