Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
