dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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