8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Everything about him screamed your future.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
