If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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